I feel tired. I feel like I could lie down and sleep for three days straight. Of course, if I had the chance I would probably toss and turn and have a fitful sleep like I have seemed to do every night for over a month now, but I would be willing to try.
I am probably no different than most people. I have the bad habit of waiting to drink water until I’m already dehydrated and no matter how exhausted I feel, come bedtime I just can’t manage a deep healing sleep. Why? Why is this so hard? I gave up my afternoon cup of coffee weeks ago, and since bringing home the puppy it’s lights out no later than 10pm. Yet, at first light I wake up as tired as when I went to bed. Is it the new 5G being rolled out all over the place? Am I really that drained from parenting a five year old? Maybe this is the sleuth-y nature of CV-19? You carry the virus and all energy is forever gone.
I don’t drink, or smoke. I mean, my diet isn’t great but it’s not too bad either. I don’t think there is a gas leak in our house, or mold in the walls. But I’m so damn tired. Maybe I need more water to be less tired? Is this the dehydration that all the actresses go to rehab for? I always wondered why you would need a rehab facility for dehydration but now I think I know.
In all seriousness, I have felt this way pretty much since becoming a mother nearly five years ago. It could just be me. I do require an awful lot of alone time and quiet. Neither of which I get any more. But I’m inclined to believe a lot of people feel this way. Parents or not.
My wish for the future is that humans would slow down. Like majorly slow down. When someone needs to rest, it shouldn’t be a quick nap or a sick day. There was a time when people would take a rest for a few weeks, even a few months. If they had an illness, they might be in resting mode for a few years! This seems crazy to the people of today but we could really learn a thing or two from our ancestors about tending to the physical body.
One of the worst outcomes of no rest is that the body will sometimes develop an illness or disease so that it can get the rest it needs. It’s very similar to people who are sick all the time because it’s the only way they know how to ask for help, they need an excuse. Well, if the body (and mind) never gets downtime, it will produce a reason to stop us in our tracks.
This winter I plan to master the art of resting. Yes! Even while preparing for the holidays, and organizing closets. Even if I have to pencil in naps, meditation, solo walks…whatever it takes, I am ready to find the balance my body has been asking for. If this seems like a strange thing to write about, let me tell you, I don’t have enough energy to power my brain to write about anything else. I’ve been thinking about going back to bed all day.
I think I’ll go drink some water now.